Here Without You Read online

  “I thought they’d never leave,” Megan sighed, falling onto her bed dramatically.

  “I think they’re sweet,” I told her, sitting on the edge of my bed.

  “They’re okay. You ready to grab something to eat? I’m starving,” she said, grabbing her stomach. I was surprised she wasn’t studying drama with all her theatrics. This was going to be an interesting year.

  “Yes. I passed a little café on the way in.” I stood up and grabbed my wristlet off my dresser.

  “Sounds perfect.” Megan rolled off her bed and lifted her beige leather bag off the floor. The thing was huge. I wondered what she had in it, but didn’t feel comfortable asking, though I was sure Megan wouldn’t mind. She’d probably dump the contents out all over her bed and offer me a perusal. She seemed very open.

  Maybe we were placed together for a reason. Maybe the personality team in the housing department matched us up because she was the extrovert to my introvert. Megan would break me out of my shell, I was sure of it.

  “I can’t wait to hear all about your boyfriend,” Megan sang as she strutted out the door.

  I sighed as I followed her. This would be an interesting year for sure.

  ~ 28 ~

  Anna

  “He’s in the Navy? That’s so cool. I can’t believe my roommate’s boyfriend is in the military. Does he have abs? Does he have any hot friends? Do you think he can set me up with someone? Will you ask him? When does he get home? When can I meet him?”

  Megan prattled on and on and on, barely stopping to take a breath. I wasn’t sure if I was meant to answer her questions or not, since she wasn’t giving me the opportunity to say anything.

  Finally, she paused, and I looked up from my sandwich to see her looking at me expectantly. “I don’t know if he has any hot friends. I’m not sure if he’ll tell me if he does or not, but I guess I can ask. He gets home in October, and I guess you can meet him after that. He doesn’t know I’m here yet. I’m surprising him.”

  “Oh! That’s so romantic. This one time, my sophomore year boyfriend…” and she was off again. I couldn’t keep up. Had I been that unsocial over the years that I couldn’t have a girl-talk conversation anymore? Was this what conversations were like when I was in high school? I didn’t remember talking at the speed of light. “So what do you think?” Megan asked, and I turned my gaze back towards her.

  “About what? I’m sorry, I zoned out,” I admitted, heat rising in my cheeks.

  “I bet you did. I’d zone out, too, if that hunk was my boyfriend.” My entire face heated now. I hadn’t been thinking about Ryan that moment, but he was never too far from my mind. “I asked if you wanted to swing by the registration tents and see if we can get appointments with our advisors.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed, knowing I had to register for classes sooner rather than later in order to get into the ones I needed.

  We paid our checks and ventured out into the warm, southern California air. It was a beautiful day, and according to my research, the weather was almost always this beautiful. Rain wasn’t a common occurrence and snow didn’t happen at all—my days of precipitation were over. I was used to all kinds of weather in Seattle; San Diego would be a cakewalk in comparison.

  We walked back to campus and headed for the registration tents. The school was holding a fair of sorts for students, particularly freshmen, featuring tents and tables for different majors, clubs, and departments. It was pretty empty, since most students were still moving into the dorms, so we were able to sit down with our advisors right away.

  After thirty minutes spent poring over the course catalog, I ended up enrolled in two courses for my major: drawing and two-dimensional design, two gen ed classes: English Composition and Algebra, and one elective: Introduction to Psychology. Maybe that last one would give me some insight into my own mind.

  Megan met me outside the tent, having completed her registration as well. We compared schedules on the way back to our dorm, realizing we’d have both English Comp and Psychology together. We looked at the rest of our days, and made plans to meet for lunch or dinner when our schedules would allow.

  While she went out for dinner with her parents, I searched the web for jobs. My parents had told me not to worry about my expenses because they planned on sending me a monthly allowance, but I wanted to do something for me. I knew if I did nothing but go to school, I would have too much time on my hands to think about Ryan, and the next month and a half would drag.

  I couldn’t wait to see him again. We had been video chatting more this past month, but Skype just wasn’t the same. Seeing his smile and hearing his laugh had been amazing though. I’d have to work something out so I could still video chat with Ryan without giving away my location or letting him see Megan.

  I browsed the classified ads some more. A lot of restaurants were hiring, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to work in a restaurant. I had experience as a server, but I think I exhausted that particular form of employment in Seattle. I was one dissatisfied customer away from losing my cool.

  “My steak is too tough.” Well, you ordered a well-done steak from a diner, what did you expect? “My coffee is too hot.” Really? “This ice cream is too cold.” You’re kidding right? “I’d like a salad with no tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, croutons, or onions. Dressing on the side.” So you’d like a bowl of lettuce?

  It was decided. Definitely no restaurants.

  Skimming through some more ads, I was ready to give up when I spotted the magic words. Art gallery. A local art gallery was hiring for an assistant. I’d never worked in an art gallery before, but I was an art student. I must have been a little qualified. The ad was short and to the point; it didn’t list any required experience, and I wasn’t sure if that meant they were flexible, or that applicants should already know the kind of experience one would need to work as an assistant in an art gallery.

  I didn’t care. I picked up my cell phone and dialed the number.

  “Martine’s Fine Arts,” a feminine voice sang across the line.

  “Hello, I’m calling about the gallery assistant position.”

  “Do you have a resume?” the voice asked abruptly.

  “I do,” I answered. Thank you college preparedness!

  “Send it over. We’ll call for an interview if we’re interested.” She spouted off an email address and hung up, cutting off my “thank you.”

  Well, that seemed promising.

  I logged in to my email, and sent my resume to the generic email address Miss Attitude gave me, including a cordial “To Whom It May Concern” message that would probably just get deleted. I also attached a couple of the scanned images I’d sent to Ryan, just for shits and giggles. I might not have had experience working in an art gallery, but I wasn’t a complete idiot when it came to the arts. Maybe the two would balance each other out. Or maybe they wouldn’t.

  Only time would tell.

  I closed out of my email and opened Skype. Ryan had been active fifteen minutes ago.

  Dammit.

  Forty-seven more days. I just had to make it forty-seven days and then I’d see him in person.

  Exhausted after my busy day, I decided to forgo heading to the cafeteria for dinner and curled up in bed with a book. Looking at my alarm clock, I figured I still had an hour before Megan would return, bringing all her energy with her.

  I fell asleep in the middle of chapter two, right after the heroine met the hero during their freshman orientation.

  ~ 29 ~

  To: Ryan Jacobs

  From: Anna Romano

  Subject: 30 days!

  Dear Ryan,

  Sorry I missed your Skype call again. Maybe we can try to connect tomorrow?

  Are you excited to be heading home soon? Will you go straight to San Diego, or do you have to stop in Virginia first?

  I’ve been keeping busy sketching and building my portfolio. I’m attaching my latest here. I hope you like it.

  Love,

  Anna

&nb
sp; To: Anna Romano

  From: Ryan Jacobs

  Subject: 25 days!

  Anna,

  Sorry, since we’re on the home stretch, there’s lots to do. I haven’t been able to get as much computer time as I’d like. The sketch was gorgeous, just like you. Did you do that from memory? It looks just like the picture of us from the homecoming dance. I bet you traced it. Ha-ha.

  I do have to go back to Virginia, but only for a minute before I head to San Diego. I wish I could come see you in between, but I need to get to California and take care of some things. I’ll have a week of leave after that, though, and I’d love to see you. If you can’t come to me, I’ll go to you. It’s been too long. I wish I’d spent more time with you before I left.

  It’s kind of hard to plan our Skype calls. Maybe we should just wait until I’m home to see each other again. It’ll make it that much more worth it. Anticipation and all that.

  I’ll see you soon.

  Love,

  Ryan

  PS I know you didn’t trace it. You are the most talented person I know.

  PPS I love you.

  To: Ryan Jacobs

  From: Anna Romano

  Subject: 21 days!

  Ryan,

  I like the idea of waiting to see each other again until we can actually see each other again. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it.

  I love you, too.

  I can’t believe you accused me of tracing! I do not trace. I’m appalled you’d even suggest it. Even if you were kidding.

  Just kidding.

  Kind of.

  Counting down the days,

  Anna

  To: Anna Romano

  From: Ryan Jacobs

  Subject: Two weeks!

  Dear Anna,

  In just two weeks I’ll be docking in Virginia. I wish I could request a drop-off in North Carolina, but I think the Navy would frown upon a request from a sailor to be dropped off at his girlfriend’s house. That’s so high school. Kind of reminds me of our first date. My parents were out of town and you had to ask your dad to drive us. I never told you, but I was terrified of him. Seems kind of silly to even say now considering how close I’ve been with your family over the years, but yeah…you were my first girlfriend, so meeting your dad was kind of a big deal. I was afraid to hold your hand in the movie theater that night. I thought I’d turn around in my seat and he’d be sitting right behind us.

  Anyway, I can’t wait to see you.

  Love,

  Ryan

  To: Ryan Jacobs

  From: Anna Romano

  Subject: LOL

  Ryan,

  Your message made me laugh so hard. What did you think my dad would be doing in the movie theater? Cleaning his gun? Hahahahaha. I don’t even know what to say. That’s so funny. I remember you being all tense, but I had no idea what was going through your mind. I thought it was just the usual first date jitters that made you avoid touching me like I was infected with the plague. No wonder I didn’t get a good night kiss until our fifth date. You were scared. Of my dad. My dad is such a teddy bear, Ryan.

  Thanks for making me laugh. I needed that.

  Will you have time to call me when you get to Virginia? When is your flight to San Diego?

  Love,

  Anna

  PS Your girlfriend?

  To: Anna Romano

  From: Ryan Jacobs

  Subject: It wasn’t that funny…

  Anna,

  I’m glad you find my teenage trauma so amusing. I didn’t know if your dad had a gun. He could have. I was a fourteen year old boy, a stick figure, for crying out loud. He was your dad. He could have taken me out with his pinky if he wanted to. Now I know he’s a big softy, but I didn’t back then. I just saw him as a big, scary dad who would do anything for his daughter. You and Ronnie always have been his weaknesses. It’s why you two always got away with so much shit.

  I’ll be in Virginia for a couple days wrapping things up with the ship and preparing to relocate. I can definitely call you when I get some time. I can’t wait to hear your voice. I fly to San Diego on October 7th. My flight gets in around noon, California time. I’ll call you when I get there, too. Then, once I talk to my CO, I’ll let you know when my leave is and we’ll work all that out.

  Ten days, Anna. Just ten more days and I’ll be back in the US. I wish that was the countdown to when I’ll be seeing you, but at least I’ll get to hear your voice.

  Love,

  Ryan

  PS Yes, you’re my girlfriend.

  To: Ryan Jacobs

  From: Anna Romano

  Subject: 2 more days!

  Dear Ryan,

  I can’t wait to hear your voice, boyfriend.

  Love,

  Anna

  ~ 30 ~

  Ryan

  Setting foot on dry land never got old. I loved being on the ship and doing my job, but I loved coming home even more. There was no place like the United States, not even the air craft carrier I’d spent the last several months on.

  As my orders currently stated, I’d have thirty-six months shore side. It was exactly what I needed. I’d get to spend a lot of time with Charlotte, time she’d actually remember since she was getting to the age where she’d retain memories. I couldn’t wait to make them with her.

  Then there was Anna. I needed some time stateside to see if what we’d been building over email, chat, and video could really go somewhere. I loved her. There was no question about that. But would everything be as real in person as it was online? And there was also the fact that we were on opposite coasts. What if she didn’t get accepted into Braddock? Then what? She’d have to go to school somewhere else; I wouldn’t allow her to give up her dream just to be near me. I wasn’t that selfish.

  Rogers and I were sharing a hotel room for the few days we’d be in Virginia before leaving for California. He was out at a bar, which gave me a perfect, quiet opportunity to call Anna.

  “Hey, beautiful,” I said once the call connected.

  “Ryan! I’m so happy it’s you. I wasn’t sure when you’d call.”

  “I called as soon as I could,” I said. The excitement in her voice was palpable, and I found myself smiling.

  “I’m so glad. How are you? How is it being back?”

  “It’s good. Different, but good. How are you?”

  “I’m great. I’m just so excited to hear from you, I can’t really think about anything else.”

  “I know the feeling. Any word from Braddock?” I asked, hoping she’d gotten good news. The fall semester was already underway, but maybe she’d get in for spring?

  “I might have a little surprise for you, but you’re going to have to wait for it.”

  “If it’s a good surprise, I can definitely wait. So what else have you been up to? Tell me everything.” I reclined on the stiff hotel bed, resting my head on the pillow as I listened to her tell me about her sketches and the books she’s been reading. I frowned when she told me she interviewed for a job as an assistant at an art gallery, but I couldn’t let my disappointment show because she was just so damn happy about it. It meant she was planning to stay in North Carolina, though. She wouldn’t get a job and then move a couple months later. Not a job like that anyway.

  “I really hope I get it. It would be so awesome to work in a gallery and be surrounded by art all day. The manager really loved the sketches I submitted with my application. I sent in a copy of the treehouse and the one of the roses in my parents’ backyard. She was so impressed. We talked for about an hour about our favorite artists and stuff. I was a little worried since I have no gallery experience, but she didn’t seem to mind at all. She just loves that I have a passion for art.”

  “That’s great, baby. I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks, Ry. It would just be part-time, which is totally fine. It’ll get my foot in the door. And, now that they’ve seen my work, maybe they’ll show it one day. I’ve been doing a lot of research and a l
ot of the art world is about networking. Even if I don’t get the job, I might be able to use these connections years from now. How awesome is that?”

  Her enthusiasm was infectious, and despite the fact I was selfishly bummed she wouldn’t be going to San Diego anytime soon, I was happy for her. She needed this. She needed something to make her feel good and help solidify her place in this world. I knew she still struggled with her identity and her purpose from time to time. This would be a great opportunity for her.

  “It’s very awesome, A. You’ll get the job, they’d be crazy not to hire you.”

  “You think?” Her unsure tone made me want to reach through the phone and hug her. If only…

  “I know.”

  “Thanks, Ry. Gah! I’ve been babbling, and I haven’t even let you speak at all. What are you doing?” God, she was adorable.

  “Nothing much. Finished with work for the day so now I’m at the hotel.”

  “You must be exhausted.”

  “I am. I’m going to go to bed in a little while.”

  “Me, too. It’s been a long day. Why don’t you just go to bed now? I know I’ve been dying to talk to you, but if you’re tired I’ll feel terrible for keeping you awake. You can call me tomorrow after you’ve gotten some good rest in a real bed.”

  “Thanks, babe. I might do that. Just lying in this bed has me tired. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”